This past month gratitude entered with an even greater poignancy and depth for me. News arrived with a clarity and force that shook my reality: my partner and soulmate of 14 years has been diagnosed with advanced terminal cancer. Suddenly, our world has changed. Whatever our personal plans were, they have evaporated and life is now grounded in the day-to-day.
Gratitude.
I am even more mindful that each day, each hour, that passes is a gift. I am filled with gratitude for the time we have been given, for a special love, and for a life-giving friendship. I hold a deep admiration for Renee’s grace and courage, and for her astounding acceptance and trust, even as she faces the great abyss of her own death. That she has been part of my life can only be described as a grand miracle, one to which I still pause in amazement.
Many of us watch those we love face their own brave journey with this horrible disease and we all watch it play out, powerless in the face of its progress, taking our mothers and fathers, our brothers and sisters, our children and friends.
We are an insane people. These illnesses that we biopsy and irradiate and remove (and often to which we succumb) are but a symptom of a greater problem--many are awakening to the insanity with a chilling realization that we have taken for granted the most basic of gifts: clean water, wholesome food, and a world that accepts and tranforms the waste we create. This path we are on leads to ruin: we will consume ourselves... soon enough, I suppose, unless we choose not to.
The heart of our problem may well be a lack of gratitude.
So let me tell my truth about all of this: I do not want to see my loved one die of cancer before her time. I just don’t. But this is the reality of it. And as we work so hard to stop death, or slow its march, all we accomplish is perhaps eking out a bit more life along the way to the inevitable. So I hope to celebrate what we’ve been given in the present moment and accept life on the terms it has been given, grateful for every bit. It's all good.
Today, let's give thanks for the miracle of our own lives, of the life around us and the precious gifts that allow us to be. For friendship and love and for all those who bear the painful burden of our excess, and for the simple gifts that mean so much and were given to so many of us for free: health and sunshine and love among them, and (of course) life--which is so very very fragile.
Perhaps our love and gratitude will help us create a new way forward.
